RSS Feed

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS- PAYBACK

Posted on

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS-  hosted by Rochelle Wisoff

http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/copyright-erin-leary.jpg

Copyright – Erin Leary

Fiction

Word count- 103

PAYBACK

He came to this place exactly after one year. On the same day last year his wife went missing.

He triumphantly  admired the fog, warm sunlight and water.

‘Well’ he thought, ‘if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth  , she obviously deserved this…’

He did not notice the bubbles on the water forming a thick fog like structure coming to him, it embraced  him tightly, he felt suffocated but could not come out of it.

Before losing consciousness, he heard a whisper in his ears ‘ you also deserve this my love’

 

 

Advertisements

About Indira

I knew all along that life is about, love, compassion, compatibility and friendship, but now I have discovered that life is also about sharing thought, encouraging others and getting encouraged. So here I am with my blogs about life, friendship, love, and whatever life has taught me.

23 responses »

  1. Very well crafted, Indiraji.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Aha!He got his just desserts:-)Well written Indira:-)

    Like

    Reply
  3. Seems they are all a bit deserving.

    Like

    Reply
  4. Good payback! I’m glad he went there to gloat – serves him right! Thanks, Nan

    Like

    Reply
  5. Karma does payback 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  6. Well, Indira, I can’t think of anything much more spooky than a dead woman pulling a man to his underwater death. At least, that’s what I read/saw!
    Good job!

    Like

    Reply
    • I don’t know whether ghosts take revenge or not, but I wanted her to do it. Thanks for encouraging. I’ll be more happy if you tell me what I lack in my writing.

      Like

      Reply
  7. Dear Indira,

    He got what he deserved. Good for her ghost. 😉

    However you might consider reworking this sentence: ‘if a woman is so madly loves a man for his looks and will her all wealth to him foolishly, she obviously deserved this…’ try something like “if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth…” I think it’s a language thing. If I’m overstepping my bounds let me know.

    I really love the story line.

    Like

    Reply
    • Rochelle dear, I’m very thankful to you for pointing it out. I have some problem with English, if no one tells me what is wrong how can I improve. Thanks a lot for taking time out to read thoroughly. Thanks for encouraging me.

      Like

      Reply
  8. Aha! Looks like a bad man got what he deserved. That’s just poetic justice. Well done, Indira! Hope to see many more of these from you.

    Like

    Reply
  9. great story-telling.

    Like

    Reply

I would love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Vita Brevis

The New Poetry Magazine

Playing with words

Unclogging my mind...

Only 100 Words

a 100-word story every day

Doug Couvillion's Photo Blog

Visuals from my world

Tales From Mindful Travels

The Two Doctors walk into a bar ...

Padaek

Lao-Australian Food Blog

Black Body

Just light

Travel with Intent

A photographer's view of the world - words and images to inspire your travels and your dreams

A Whistling Caravan

Write not to impress others,but to express yourself and inspire others!!!™

Ruskin Innovations

The future of digital marketing

Anokhi Roshani

Everything In Hindi

M.I.S.M.A.T.C.H

Everything is a mismatch on their own until they are together and given a meaning.

Scribbled to Paper.com

The Art of Writing Life through Poetry.

Tauqir Ahmad

Cricketer, Student of Commerce, Blogger, i write what i feel. Twitter @tauqirsays

Wild Daffodil

the joy of creativity

Amoris et Somniorum

Personal Blog

Vita Brevis

The New Poetry Magazine

Playing with words

Unclogging my mind...

Only 100 Words

a 100-word story every day

Doug Couvillion's Photo Blog

Visuals from my world

Tales From Mindful Travels

The Two Doctors walk into a bar ...

Padaek

Lao-Australian Food Blog

Black Body

Just light

Travel with Intent

A photographer's view of the world - words and images to inspire your travels and your dreams

A Whistling Caravan

Write not to impress others,but to express yourself and inspire others!!!™

Ruskin Innovations

The future of digital marketing

Anokhi Roshani

Everything In Hindi

M.I.S.M.A.T.C.H

Everything is a mismatch on their own until they are together and given a meaning.

Scribbled to Paper.com

The Art of Writing Life through Poetry.

Tauqir Ahmad

Cricketer, Student of Commerce, Blogger, i write what i feel. Twitter @tauqirsays

Wild Daffodil

the joy of creativity

Amoris et Somniorum

Personal Blog

%d bloggers like this: