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FRIDAY FICTIONEERS- PAYBACK

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FRIDAY FICTIONEERS-  hosted by Rochelle Wisoff

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Copyright – Erin Leary

Fiction

Word count- 103

PAYBACK

He came to this place exactly after one year. On the same day last year his wife went missing.

He triumphantly  admired the fog, warm sunlight and water.

‘Well’ he thought, ‘if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth  , she obviously deserved this…’

He did not notice the bubbles on the water forming a thick fog like structure coming to him, it embraced  him tightly, he felt suffocated but could not come out of it.

Before losing consciousness, he heard a whisper in his ears ‘ you also deserve this my love’

 

 

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About Indira

I knew all along that life is about, love, compassion, compatibility and friendship, but now I have discovered that life is also about sharing thought, encouraging others and getting encouraged. So here I am with my blogs about life, friendship, love, and whatever life has taught me.

23 responses »

  1. Very well crafted, Indiraji.

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  2. Aha!He got his just desserts:-)Well written Indira:-)

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  3. Seems they are all a bit deserving.

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  4. Good payback! I’m glad he went there to gloat – serves him right! Thanks, Nan

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  5. Karma does payback 🙂

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  6. Well, Indira, I can’t think of anything much more spooky than a dead woman pulling a man to his underwater death. At least, that’s what I read/saw!
    Good job!

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    • I don’t know whether ghosts take revenge or not, but I wanted her to do it. Thanks for encouraging. I’ll be more happy if you tell me what I lack in my writing.

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  7. Dear Indira,

    He got what he deserved. Good for her ghost. 😉

    However you might consider reworking this sentence: ‘if a woman is so madly loves a man for his looks and will her all wealth to him foolishly, she obviously deserved this…’ try something like “if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth…” I think it’s a language thing. If I’m overstepping my bounds let me know.

    I really love the story line.

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    • Rochelle dear, I’m very thankful to you for pointing it out. I have some problem with English, if no one tells me what is wrong how can I improve. Thanks a lot for taking time out to read thoroughly. Thanks for encouraging me.

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  8. Aha! Looks like a bad man got what he deserved. That’s just poetic justice. Well done, Indira! Hope to see many more of these from you.

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  9. great story-telling.

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