FRIDAY FICTIONEERS- hosted by Rochelle Wisoff
Copyright – Erin Leary
Fiction
Word count- 103
PAYBACK
He is visiting this place exactly after one year.
Last year his wife went missing without any trace.
He admires the fog, warm hazy sunlight, and water.
‘Well,’ he thinks, ‘if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth, obviously deserved this…’
He hasn’t noticed the bubbles on the water forming a thick fog-like structure, stealthily coming to him. It embraces him tightly. He feels suffocated but powerless.
Before losing consciousness, he hears a whisper in his ears, ‘ you also deserve this, my love’.
Sharing Thoughts 
Very well crafted, Indiraji.
LikeLike
Thanks , you saying this is an honor dear.
LikeLike
Sweet revenge.
LikeLike
Thanks for liking.
LikeLike
Aha!He got his just desserts:-)Well written Indira:-)
LikeLike
Thanks Atreyee.
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Seems they are all a bit deserving.
LikeLike
You are right. Thanks for your visit.
LikeLike
Good payback! I’m glad he went there to gloat – serves him right! Thanks, Nan
LikeLike
Thanks you so much Nan for your visit and comment.
LikeLike
Karma does payback 🙂
LikeLike
So true dear. Thanks for your visit and comment.
LikeLike
Warm Greetings from cold and snowy Poland.
http://marciento.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/virtual-exhibition-of-photography/
LikeLike
Thanks Marco, its warm in Visakhapatnam. Hope you are enjoying winter.
LikeLike
Well, Indira, I can’t think of anything much more spooky than a dead woman pulling a man to his underwater death. At least, that’s what I read/saw!
Good job!
LikeLike
I don’t know whether ghosts take revenge or not, but I wanted her to do it. Thanks for encouraging. I’ll be more happy if you tell me what I lack in my writing.
LikeLike
Dear Indira,
He got what he deserved. Good for her ghost. 😉
However you might consider reworking this sentence: ‘if a woman is so madly loves a man for his looks and will her all wealth to him foolishly, she obviously deserved this…’ try something like “if a woman madly loves a man for his looks and is foolish enough to will him all her wealth…” I think it’s a language thing. If I’m overstepping my bounds let me know.
I really love the story line.
LikeLike
Rochelle dear, I’m very thankful to you for pointing it out. I have some problem with English, if no one tells me what is wrong how can I improve. Thanks a lot for taking time out to read thoroughly. Thanks for encouraging me.
LikeLike
Aha! Looks like a bad man got what he deserved. That’s just poetic justice. Well done, Indira! Hope to see many more of these from you.
LikeLike
That is a very encouraging comment. Thanks a lot, coming from a very good writer, its an honor for me.
LikeLike
great story-telling.
LikeLike
Thanks dear.
LikeLike