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Friday Fictioneers-4 JULY 2014/ Revenge

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rochellewisofffieldsWhat does the photo prompt below say to you? Tell me in a hundred words.

PHOTO PROMPT, Copyright - Claire Fuller

Fiction

word count-101

 

Revenge

The muck, moss and pigeon poop on the statue made me feel sorry for the king whose statue it was.

He must have had a false notion that coming generations will remember and revere him as all arrogant egoists have.

Guide told me how he burdened his subjects with excessive taxes to raise funds for his statue and tortured people who could not pay. Many died of poverty, hard work and starvation.

I am sure they were reborn as pigeons.

Now they were taking revenge by pooping on his statue as he could not harm them, except giving them a glare.

 

( I love helpful criticism.)

 

 

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About Indira

I knew all along that life is about, love, compassion, compatibility and friendship, but now I have discovered that life is also about sharing the thoughts, encouraging others and getting encouraged. So here I am with my blogs about life, friendship, love, and whatever life has taught me.

27 responses »

  1. That is a sweet story indeed

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  2. Dear Indira,

    I love the feeling of poetic justice in this piece. I think you may need an s at the end of generation. It feels awkward as a singular.

    Your writing improves with each story you write.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  3. Poetic justice. I like the concept. 🙂

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  4. Love it! Poetic justice, indeed!

    There are a couple minor grammar oops or typos. I agree with Rochelle that the word ‘generation’ in the second sentence could use an ‘s’ at the end; also the way the word ‘fund’ is used in the third sentence it is plural (should be ‘funds’).

    On the whole, a delightful use of the prompt.

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  5. love the life lesson in your wonderful story, Indira. do right the first time around to avoid poop in the next round. 🙂

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  6. will remember (I think this should be WOULD remember)

    This is a delightful revenge story!

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  7. hahah… bad for the king, but that’s how life comes in full circle!!

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  8. Nicely done Indira. A nicely administered touch of irony.

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  9. Dear Indira, Excellent and the old King ‘Aint what he used to be. He must have been a pompous ass! Too bad, his loyal subjects are tending to him quite well. Eweeeeee! Nan”)

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  10. Indira, Good story. I liked the funny idea of the subjects coming back as pigeons. That’s poetic justice. I hope the next king was better. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

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  11. An interesting story you wrote there, Indira. I’m impressed. As requested by you, hereunder my take at 100 words:

    After winning the bloody Kalinga War, the Maurya Emperor Asoka was devastated by the carnage he wrought. Wrecked by remorse he embraced Buddha’s teachings. But he did something else that poets and scholars overlooked.

    ‘Raise a statue in my likeness,’ he said. ‘And place it in a spot where animals will defecate on my likeness and the lowliest creepers will violate my body. And this will be just. Let history say, behold the Great Asoka who has humbled himself to such treatment in the public’s eye, as atonement for his terrible sins. That will be my lesson well-learned for eternity.’

    Hope you like it.
    Cheers,
    Eric

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  12. Reblogged this on Indira's Blog and commented:

    One comment from my friend Eric Elagan impressed me so much that I’m reblogging my own post with his story so readers can enjoy.
    ” After winning the bloody Kalinga War, the Maurya Emperor Asoka was devastated by the carnage he wrought. Wrecked by remorse he embraced Buddha’s teachings. But he did something else that poets and scholars overlooked.
    ‘Raise a statue in my likeness,’ he said. ‘And place it in a spot where animals will defecate on my likeness and the lowliest creepers will violate my body. And this will be just. Let history say, behold the Great Asoka who has humbled himself to such treatment in the public’s eye, as atonement for his terrible sins. That will be my lesson well-learned for eternity.’
    –After winning the bloody Kalinga War, the Maurya Emperor Asoka was devastated by the carnage he wrought. Wrecked by remorse he embraced Buddha’s teachings. But he did something else that poets and scholars overlooked.
    ‘Raise a statue in my likeness,’ he said. ‘And place it in a spot where animals will defecate on my likeness and the lowliest creepers will violate my body. And this will be just. Let history say, behold the Great Asoka who has humbled himself to such treatment in the public’s eye, as atonement for his terrible sins. That will be my lesson well-learned for eternity.’

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